


Spider in Training

by pattimajor



Series: Spider the Service Dog [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Autism, Autism Service Dog, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Peter Parker, College, College Student Peter Parker, Disability, Disabled Character, Dogs, Gen, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Psychiatric Service Dog, Service Animals, Service Dog in Training, Service Dogs, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27704141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pattimajor/pseuds/pattimajor
Summary: College is hard. It’s even harder when you’re disabled. Peter has recently gotten a service dog in training, a black Labrador Retriever named Spider, who is learning to help him. But training a service dog takes time, and Spider is still young. They both must learn together so Peter can gain independence (and stop having so many panic attacks).
Series: Spider the Service Dog [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026165
Comments: 2
Kudos: 99





	1. Won’t Happen Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning, see end notes for details.

Peter carefully took deep breaths as he sat in the classroom. He tried to imagine Spider by his side, as she would be when she was trained enough to come to class with him. Not yet though. She’s too young, too immature, still learning, not ready.

 _Like me,_ Peter thought, glancing around at his peers. They all looked so calm, so mature, so adult.

Peter hasn’t felt on par with his peers for years. When he was a kid – a quiet, anxious, logical kid – he was told he was more mature. Sometime in his early teens, as if someone had flipped a switch, suddenly he was too dependent, too childish, yet still too logical to be immature. It was confusing.

Peter felt too young, still learning, not ready for the responsibilities of adult life. 19 already. How did that happen?

He glanced around again, tried to guess the ages of the other students around him. Were they 19 too? Did they feel the same way he did?

Peter startled at the sound of the professor suddenly calling his name. His gaze snapped back to the front of the room, where he was met with a stern, expectant look.

 _I must’ve missed a question,_ Peter thought. He squeezed his hands. _Oh no. What do I do? What if I’m in trouble?_

“Mr. Parker, I asked if you could share your answer to the third warm-up question.”

“Oh! Oh, right, um… yeah I- I got, um… 76.”

The professor moved on quickly, probably not nearly as irritated as Peter perceived, but Peter was suddenly finding it difficult to breathe.

He rocked a little in his seat, wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders, tried to hold in his tears. The harsh lights in the room seemed to stab through his brain. The voices around him blurred together…

Before Peter knew it, he was crouched under the table, looking up at the confused and concerned students that sat near his corner. The professor appeared, said something Peter couldn’t make sense of in his panicked brain, then reached out. Peter flinched back harshly and scrambled as far out of reach as he could without leaving the shelter of the table.

The professor’s words slowly came through the fog of Peter’s brain.

“-arker? Mr. Parker, are you alright? Should I call someone?”

 _Words. Words. No. Go away. Leave me alone. No._ Peter willed his mouth to move and voice the words suddenly flooding his head, but they seemed stuck. _No, not again, no… I know!_ Peter clumsily pulled his phone out of his pocket, thankful he’d kept it there instead of his backpack or on the desk, and opened the AAC app he’d recently downloaded. Time to put it to the test.

He made sure the phone’s volume was high enough to hear and pressed a few buttons. A robotic voice sounded from the phone, “ _I am having a panic attack. I cannot speak right now. I need quiet. I need space. Please go away._ ” Peter hoped it wasn’t too rude. He hoped they would listen.

He got lucky. The professor hesitantly stepped away from the table and returned to teaching, speaking quieter than before. The students still in view gave him strange looks every few minutes, but otherwise left him alone.

Peter could breathe again. He waited another few minutes, until he didn’t feel like the direct light and open space would crush him anymore, before he quietly crawled out from under the desk. He looked around, surprised to see the other students packing up their things and the professor approaching him.

Another deep breath. He hoped his words wouldn’t fail him again.

“Mr. Parker, can I talk to you for a minute before you go?”

“uh, yeah, yeah that’s fine,” Peter responded, barely louder than a whisper. Progress.

“I understand you have an accommodation letter from disability services that you gave to me the first day of class. I was under the impression that those are supposed to prevent… um, events like that. Is there something that isn’t working the way it’s supposed to?”

 _My brain,_ Peter thought, but hastily replied, “Uh, no sir. The accommodations are great. They really help a lot! I… um… I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“What I mean, Mr. Parker, is that I need to know something like that won’t happen again.”

Peter couldn’t hold in a burst of laughter at that. “Won’t- won’t happen again?” _Wow, my mask is really down. That must’ve been a lot of adrenaline to get me this unfiltered._ He took a deep breath, this time trying to get his laughter under control. “S-sorry. Sorry, I just- Won’t happen again? This happens all the time!”

“Mr. Parker, I’m not joking. It was really quite disruptive and concerning. If there’s any way to prevent events like this in the future…”

Peter froze. He had disrupted class. _He_ had caused a problem. _He_ was at fault here.

The laughter stopped.

“I’m really sorry, sir. Really sorry. I… I didn’t mean to… I try to keep it under control, and usually I can get out of the room before it gets that bad, but… I’m sorry, I-I’ll do better, I won’t- I’ll try not to- It just came on super quickly this time, and I- I’m sorry…”

Peter’s chest felt tight again. _Not again. Not again. Not twice in one class, not literally while I’m being scolded for disrupting class with the first one! Not right in front of the teacher…_

“Mr. Parker, I just mean if there’s anything I can do to help, it benefits both of us and I’m more than willing to do what I can. I just need you to communicate that with me so we can meet your needs in my classroom.”

“R-right. Um, yeah, I’ll… I’ll let you know if there’s anything… yeah. Um, thanks, I need to go…”

Peter quickly backed away from the professor and fled the now-empty room.

Then promptly forgot which direction of the hallway would take him outside and away from all the people.

Peter imagined a black lab, like an adult Spider, by his side to guide him out. He wished he had Spider now. Even way too young to do guide tasks yet, she was getting good at Pressure, and even just that would be better than the helplessness he felt all alone.

He pressed himself against the rough wall to keep himself from stumbling around the hallway and getting in the way of other students, then slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting. These people all had somewhere to be. They wouldn’t just crowd in the hallway indefinitely. Soon they would all go to class or something and Peter would be safe.

…

Peter traced the wall with his finger all the way until he reached the exit. He hoped Happy would still be waiting in the usual spot. It had taken a frustratingly long time for Peter to regain his sense of direction, even after the crowds had thinned.

He squeezed a stress ball rhythmically in his hand as he looked around the parking lot. _There! Right in the usual spot. Thank you, Happy._ Peter speed walked toward the familiar car, relief flooding him. Soon he would be home and safe with Tony and Spider. There were still a few hours for him to rest before his and Spider’s training class that evening.

“Hey, kid. What took so long?” Happy asked. He sounded grumpy.

Peter tapped his phone, horrified to see that almost 40 minutes had passed since his class ended. “S-sorry! Sorry, Happy, I didn’t mean to… I just…” he trailed off, embarrassed.

“You just what?”

“I… I couldn’t…” Peter lowered his voice, “I couldn’t remember the way out.”

Happy looked confused for a moment, “Are you feeling ok-” then cut himself off, seemingly realizing what Peter meant. “Oh. Well, come on, then.”

Peter climbed into the backseat, grateful that Happy hadn’t questioned him further. _I can’t wait to have Spider with me so this isn’t so much of a problem._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on Peter having a panic attack that disrupts his class. It includes a nonverbal episode and a dissociative episode that causes him to forget where the exit of the building is.


	2. She Did It!

Peter woke up shaky and tired.

_Great. Just great. A bad brain day. I have so much to do!_

Just the thought of the stack of schoolwork waiting for him caused Peter’s head to throb in pain. That only got worse when he left the dark cavern of his blankets.

He heard Spider’s tail thump happily in her crate. The black lab was oblivious to his pain and simply happy to spend the morning with him. She trotted behind as Peter took her outside, went to eat his breakfast, then did some simple recall drills for her breakfast.

Peter sat down at his desk and groaned, then chose a small, easy assignment to start with. He hoped he could build momentum with something easy so the harder work wouldn’t be so miserable.

An hour later, Peter was regretting ever leaving his bed. His headache had only gotten worse and he was so stressed out by a research paper he’d already procrastinated on for too long. He _needed_ to make progress on this paper today, but his brain was refusing to produce words.

Peter wrapped his arms around himself, frustrated and overwhelmed. He didn’t notice Spider staring at him intensely.

Another minute of no words to type on the page, then one hand strayed up to his head to grab a fistful of hair. Spider still stared.

Peter whimpered and let go of his hair to flap his hand, trying to get the buzzing sensation of panic to go away.

Spider got up and pawed at his flapping hand, then pushed her nose firmly into Peter’s side.

Peter froze. _What? What are you doing?_

Spider pushed her nose into his side again.

_Oh. Is she? Yes!_

“Good girl,” he whispered, “Good girl.”

She bumped him again with her nose and lifted a paw onto his lap.

_She did it. She did it!_

He reached for the jar of treats he kept by his desk and dropped a whole handful for Spider.

“Yes! Good girl! Good girl, Spi, you did it!”

_She did it! This is real! She really is learning what I teach her!_

“This is so amazing. Good girl, Spi!”

Spider ate the last of the treats he’d dropped for her and trotted back to him, tail waving in circles. He handed her one more and bent down to wrap his arms around his dog.

“You did it. You did it. Good girl. You’re so smart.”

Peter’s head felt much clearer after Spider’s response. _Her first real panic interruption!_ He stroked the lab’s soft ears for another minute before cautiously turning back to his paper.

To Peter’s relief, the words came so much easier! Spider laid by his chair while he finally wrote a few pages for his research paper, then they both went outside for a well-deserved game of fetch.


	3. Walmart

“Ok, Spi, you ready?” Peter held out the red service dog in training vest, “Harness!”

Spider eagerly stuck her head into the vest. Peter stroked her soft ears (one of his new favorite stims) before buckling the girth strap of the vest and clipping Spider’s leash onto her collar.

“Ready to go, kiddo?” Tony asked.

Peter took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think so. It’s only Walmart. Quinn said she’s ready for that.”

Tony smiled, “That’s right. Just tell me if you need a break at any point, and we can find a quiet spot to sit down like they taught us.”

“And if the greeter asks, I say she’s a service dog in training and she interrupts and responds to panic attacks. If anyone else asks, I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to,” another deep breath, “Ok. Spider, heel.”

They walked out the door to the car.

…

“Good girl, Spi, good heel. Watch me! Yes!”

Peter thought, as a service dog handler, he should probably be concerned that the greeter didn’t ask questions when he walked in with a dog, but Spider was clearly labeled and listening, and Peter was honestly just appreciating one less thing to stress about for their first non-pet-friendly outing.

He followed Tony as they explored the store, trying not to micromanage Spider too much while still keeping her attention.

 _Help as little as possible and as much as necessary_ , he remembered.

Spider offered eye contact as they passed a staring child. Peter praised and handed her a treat. He heard a whispered “Aww, so cute!” and ignored it. All that time he’d spent worrying about being the center of attention, but in the moment, he genuinely didn’t mind that people noticed Spider. It was a logical concept; so different from the vague, unfounded anxiety of Before-Spider.

“Doing ok, Pete?” Tony asked.

“Yeah!” Peter flapped his hand excitedly, “I feel really good!”

Spider pushed her nose into his flapping hand.

Peter laughed, “Not quite, pup, but you’ve got the spirit,” and handed her a treat.

He noticed patches of crumbs on the floor as they wandered through the fruit area on the way to checkout. Spider didn’t seem to even realize the crumbs were there. She sniffed the air, even Peter could tell that this area had a distinct smell, but continued to keep pace beside him.

“Want to help me with the self-checkout, Peter? That’s a useful skill.”

“Ok,” Peter agreed, “Let’s use that one by the corner so Spider has a safe spot to lay.”

“So, first thing you do is read the screen.”

“One sec,” Peter interrupted. “Spider, come. Down. Good girl, wait.”

Peter had to stand a bit awkwardly to reach the scanner from between Spider and the people behind them. He was amazed that the busy checkout area directly behind him wasn’t causing hypervigilance like it usually would.

When they finished and turned around to leave, the lady at the next checkout station stopped them.

“Beautiful dog, what breed is it?”

“Thank you. She’s a lab,” Peter replied. Spider stood up, excited about the friendly stranger. “Ah-ah! Spider, down,” Peter scolded firmly.

“Oh, sorry!” the lady said.

“It’s fine, she’s still learning,” Peter said without looking away from Spider. The lab laid back down and looked at Peter. “There we go, that’s a good girl.”

Peter wasn’t sure if the lady had walked away or just left the conversation, but Tony started pushing the cart towards the doors, so Peter and Spider followed.

“Good job, Spider! You did so so good!” Peter praised as they walked out the door (past the same greeter, who still said nothing) and to the car.

“How did that go?” Tony asked. “You looked calm.”

Peter bounced a bit, “It went so great! I felt great! And Spider was so focused and calm!”

Spider stared up at him, tail waving in circles happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyy Peter is finally having a good time!!  
> Sorry about the very long wait between chapters. As some of you are aware, this story is loosely based on my own experiences. Training my SDiT has been taking up more than my spare time and energy recently, but I finally had a free evening line up with the inspiration to write more! (and I finally managed to write a nice fluffy chapter instead of my usual angst-filled content lol... Enjoy the happy Peter!)


End file.
